A lesson I’ve been learning over the past year and a half is that it’s hard to recognize when someone has reached their limit until it’s too late. People reach mental, physical, and emotional limits all the time and suffer seriously in their burnout.
I’ve studied my own limitations and try regularly to stop applying pressure to tense situations with other people. This is why boundaries are so important. Boundaries are meant to be fortified walls, with specific doors people may enter through, instead of wandering around your life as they please. They are meant to protect. We need them to protect ourselves from others, but also to keep our own actions in check.
I’ve been burned out for a few weeks so I’ve seen, recently, what my limit is and what it can look like when I’m pushed past it. Not pretty. The boundaries for my actions don’t reach that far, when I’m triggered beyond what I can handle. And I also hate when people feel like they’re walking on eggshells around me.
Hate. It.
The solution? Expand my emotional limit. Be able to handle more and more with self-control.
This is not an overnight process. In fact, it’s really difficult. But it will improve your life if you tend to fly off the handle like I have, too many times.
Here are some things that help me develop my self-control:
- Taking care of myself physically (rest, food, exercise)
- Identifying triggers and writing them down (What drives me crazy? Literally!)
- Removing myself as necessary (If you feel violent or aggressive, this is already the danger zone- you need to step away now if you haven’t already) and saying when I’ll be back
- Choosing self-talk carefully (What am I reminding myself in the moment, about my boundaries and known triggers?)
Since writing down my triggers and setting boundaries I have been able to see that expansion of emotional strength is possible, it just takes a lot of work. Baby steps and hope.
You can do it!
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